Lock the doors, hide the children, polish your flamethrower. I’ve posted twice in a week. Clearly, the only way that could happen is if I’ve been possessed by a demon. Or if I’ve somehow been sucked into WordPress and my only means of communication is through blog posts. Send help.
So I turned 17 two months ago, and it’s the most insignificant adolescent age to exist. I can’t even go to jail for committing arson or anything (not that I’m thinking of it). The only privileges I get is telling people I turned 17 which truly fills me with mirth.
Let’s not forget filling out college applications and finally realizing how your entire 17 years of existence amount to nearly nothing. My resume is looking pitifully blank, so here’s a list of talents that are not technically termed as talents by collegiate officials or literally anything with a heartbeat.
Disclaimer: Do not try this at home, I being a professional and hence qualified. I went all the way to Shanghai and enrolled in a 20 year course (yes, I’m aware I’m 17) in the School of Wasting-Your-Life and then underwent severe training in the Himalayas by a monk in the art of ‘You will never get a Job’. Beware.
1. I can rap Lafayette’s part in Guns and Ships from the Hamilton soundtrack. You impressed? I know. I’m impressive. Some peasants would not necessarily call it ‘rap’ though, more like talking really fast without flow.
#hamfam
2. I can finish 12 years worth of TV shows in a week (cause I have no life and nothing to do anyway)
3. I’ve made a few appearances in the leader board in Agar.io (admittedly with help). It’s a cutthroat world out there. Speaking of gaming, I can probably play Pokemon Sapphire blindfolded and am pretty decent in Tetris. The only pieces of my life that fit together are Tetris shapes.
Tetris is necessary for adulting.
4. I consider myself pretty good at staring contests. The key is to look but not see. You’re welcome.
5. I can probably recite every line in Mean Girls and Tangled. So fetch.
To any colleges admission person out there reading this. How you doin?
bludgersandbroomsticks.wordpress.com 
hahaha well that’s an impressive list of things you can do- happy belated birthday!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you! if only I could convince my mom that those are legitimate talents
LikeLiked by 1 person
you’re welcome hahaha
LikeLiked by 1 person
Stop trying to make ‘fetch’ a thing! Great post–I had no idea you were seventeen because your writing is so dang good!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha you go Glen Coco! thank you, I really appreciate that
LikeLiked by 1 person
HAHA I’m hella impressed bb HELLA. You right, it is a cutthroat world out there, that agrio ish is hard man- I get the struggle haha
LikeLiked by 1 person
Props to you for wrapping Lafayatte’s part in Hamilton. Major skills there. I still don’t know what he’s saying and I’ve listened to it like a million times haha xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha thank you! I have to admit, it took me many sleepless nights to conquer it
LikeLiked by 1 person
the whole of lafayette’s rap?? oh my gods *kneels in your wonderful glory* and yep, i related with the tv shows: i once finished a whole two seasons of a show (star vs the forces of evil) in two days. 40 episodes in 2 days. tbh i don’t know what i’m doing with my life.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It took me a long time but I’m satisfied. 40 episodes in 2 days? you are now my god
LikeLiked by 1 person
Loved your intro.
Kind regards from Sunshiny South Africa
LikeLike