A mother’s day post 3 days late? I know, how uncharacteristic of me to procrastinate as such. Pity me ’tis an incurable chronic ailment. But really, does one mediocre day really make up for 364 days of ingratitude. Nay, so go hug your biological/ adoptive/ foster/ honorary mother at once child. What really pisses me off is when people complain about the stereotype-y ‘doesn’t know how to work the internet thing’ Listen dude, she wiped your butt. I’m certain the least you can do is help her open her mail.
Now look, I love this woman, but my mother (along with way too many people in my life) suffers from selective deafness, for example, a typical conversation with the life giver would be (Note: This is not exaggerated, unfortunately.)
Anyway I compromise on repeating everything twice, whereas she helps me find things. I’m sure she can find things that went missing into the Bermuda Triangle if she wanted to. (Conspiracy theory: There’s probably a realm where lost things go which is only accessible during motherhood)
Anyway, thanks mom, for not ‘accidentally’ dropping me or feeding me to piranhas, I’m pretty sure you genuinely considered it. You did a great job. I mean c’mon just look at me.
P.S I’m your favorite child…Right?