Lady Midnight

Honestly this is going to be more of a giant spoiler that a review, but none of my friends have read it yet, and since I can’t spoil it for them (could there be a more treacherous betrayal) I’m going to spoil it for the whole world instead.

I’m sure there’s a country’s worth of people who think that Cassandra Clare is milking money and yada yada, if that is the case. Mrs Clare, please milk on, milk like you’ve never mulked before(I seem have a tendency to neologimate-did anyone catch the irony in this?*cricket noises)

However if there is any cult out there with the sole purpose of adultnapping her and finding out spoilers for the next book, sign me up, the law probably prevents me from doing this- the law is hard but it is the law?well, I live by the Blackthorn’s motto, lex malla lex nulla.

Piece of advice derived from experience-read the Shadowhunter academy novellas. I, despite countless instructions from my friend, didn’t. So basically there was a lot of “CLARY AND SIMON ARE PARABATAI?” and “ALEC AND MAGNUS HAVE A KID?” and also a bit of “BY THE ANGEL, THERE IS ANOTHER HERONDALE”

But Julian is not someone who can just touch your heart. He can touch your soul. And there is a difference between having your heart break and having your soul shatter.

This book was my soul-shattering Julian, as in, it smashed my soul into smithereens, let it get trampled on by a stampede of llamas, glued it back together, only to feed it to Mantid demons.

Okay time to relive some painful memories *clears throat*

Maybe my brain cells were fried from compelling Jules and Emma CARSTAIRS to kiss, but I did’t think Malcolm would be the guardian, I should’ve seen it coming, I read way too many Agatha Christie books during my childhood to not, but come on he loves Notthing Hill, knows all the best places to order pizza and with his all -“Laws are meaningless, child, there is nothing more important than love. And no law higher.” and “I can burn you to the ground in six seconds flat and use the ashes to stuff a teddy bear for my girlfriend” talk, I sorta loved him. I even remember thinking- wow warlocks are great, Magnus,Tessa and now this dude-heh look how that turned out.

In the end, I still loved him though, I shun the people who did that to Annabel, who has now risen, well her eyes opened, I’m sure it’s some biological reaction, she could still be dead….that’s unlikely. Oh speaking of which, I love how seamlessly Clare wove the poem into the story, for those who didn’t notice, every chapter title is a line from the poem, how can one not love the poem with lines like-

“And neither the angels in Heaven above
   Nor the demons down under the sea
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
   Of the beautiful Annabel Lee”
and,
 “But we loved with a love that was more than love”
I had a hard time trusting Cristina, mostly because I thought she would be competition for Emma CARSTAIRS, until ‘That is not love,that is a debt’ scene. Also,
“I can’t tell you what’s bothering me”
“Alrighty, take a righ-“
” I SLEPT WITH JULIAN”
^true friendship right there.
Team Mark all the way, to clarify, Mark and CRISTINA. Orders strawberries, rides horse-motorcycles, names stars after family, what’s there not to love.
“I’m going to chop him up and feed him to my fish.” “You don’t have fish,” Julian said. “Well, I’m going to buy some,” said Emma. “I’m going to buy goldfish and feed them blood until they acquire a taste for human flesh.”-Emma badass CARSTAIRS, do you need another reason to justify her badassery. I’m just gonna assume you do, cause how else am I going to incorporate this quote- “Nobody calls me ‘blondie’ and keeps their kneecaps.”

Julian, Oh Julian, why must my heart hurt when I think about him, this is the whole Will finding out the curse wasn’t actually a curse sorta hurting. “If my heart was a canvas, every square inch of it would be painted over with you”, Cue the hyperventilating.

Now, I present to thee the two words which will cause me endless sleepless nights filled with a lot of weeping while cursing Cassandra Clare-“Why lie?”. I cannot even form coherent sentences to explain my emotions-asdflusailgdfvmlewfa, would be the closest though.

I’m really hoping Clary somehow makes a de-parabataizing rune.

AVE ATQUE VALE

P.S CARSTAIRS. Emma CARSTAIRS and now HERONDALE. Kit HERONDALE. WHAT.

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